Introduction
Many people worry about what they are going to say in therapy. You may wonder if you need to have something specific prepared, if your problems are “big enough,” or if your mind will go blank the moment you sit down. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.
The truth is, not knowing what to say in therapy is completely normal, especially in the beginning. In this post, we will explore why that happens, what to do when you feel stuck, and how to get the most out of your sessions.
Feeling Stuck Is a Part of the Process
Therapy is not like a presentation or a performance. You do not need to have everything planned out. It is okay to show up unsure, confused, or even silent. In fact, those moments often lead to some of the most meaningful breakthroughs.
Feeling stuck might be a sign that you are overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, or simply not used to having space where the focus is entirely on you. That discomfort is part of the adjustment.
You Don’t Need to Have a Script
Some people start therapy thinking they need to tell their whole life story in perfect order. Others worry they will “waste time” if they do not use every minute well. The truth is, therapy is not about being efficient, it is about being real.
You can start a session by saying something like:
- “I am not sure what to talk about today.”
- “I feel off, but I don’t know why.”
- “Can we just check in about how I have been feeling this week?”
These are all perfectly good starting points. Your therapist is there to help guide the conversation.
Things You Can Talk About (Even When You Feel Unsure)
If you want a few ideas to ground yourself, here are some things you might explore:
- How your week has been emotionally, not just logistically
- Something that made you feel unsettled, frustrated, or confused
- A recurring thought or pattern you are noticing
- A relationship or interaction that felt off
- Even the fact that you are not sure what you are feeling
You can also bring in a journal entry, a dream, a moment you want to revisit, or something that feels “small” but keeps popping into your mind. Everything is welcome in the therapy room.
Why Silence Can Be Important Too
If there is a quiet moment in therapy, that is not a failure. Silence can give you space to breathe, reflect, and notice what is happening inside. Sometimes it is in those pauses that a feeling surfaces or a connection is made.
If silence feels uncomfortable, you can say so. Your therapist can help you sit with it or explore what is making it hard. You are allowed to show up exactly as you are.
You Can Talk About Not Knowing What to Say
If you ever feel stuck, anxious, or unsure during a session, say it out loud. Therapy works best when it is honest. Something like, “I feel weird not knowing what to say right now,” can open up a deeper conversation about pressure, self-doubt, or past experiences where you felt like you had to perform.
You just have to show up and be you.
Conclusion
Not knowing what to say in therapy is more common than most people think. It is not a sign that you are doing something wrong but it is a sign that you are human. Therapy is not about saying the “right” thing. It is about creating a space where whatever you are feeling, even uncertainty, can be explored with care.
If you have questions or are considering starting therapy but feel unsure where to begin, you can always fill out the form below. We are here to walk with you, one step at a time.
