When someone close to you starts therapy, it can bring up a lot of questions. You might wonder how to help, what to say, or how much to ask. You care deeply, but you might also feel unsure about what role to play. That’s completely normal.
Whether your loved one is starting therapy for the first time or returning to it after a break, your presence and understanding can make a meaningful difference. This guide is here to help you support them in a way that is thoughtful, respectful, and grounded in compassion.
Let Them Set the Pace
One of the most supportive things you can do is give them space to share on their own terms. Therapy can bring up vulnerable emotions, and not everyone is ready to talk about it right away.
You might feel tempted to ask what they talked about or how it went, but try letting them lead. You can say something simple like, “I’m here if you ever want to talk about it, but no pressure at all.” That alone shows you care without crossing any boundaries.
Avoid Giving Advice
If they do open up, try to listen without jumping into problem-solving mode. They are already doing the hard work of processing things in therapy. What they often need most from you is a calm, accepting presence.
Instead of offering suggestions or trying to fix things, try saying, “That sounds really hard” or “I’m proud of you for doing this.” Affirmation goes a lot further than advice.
Respect Their Privacy
Even if you’re very close, therapy is personal. It is not your place to ask for details unless they choose to share. Reassure them that you respect their privacy and their process.
For some people, just knowing that you are not pressuring them creates a sense of emotional safety. It helps build trust and encourages them to keep going with their healing journey.
Be Mindful of Your Reactions
Sometimes therapy brings up difficult truths or long-held emotions. If they share something surprising, painful, or upsetting, try to stay grounded. Reacting with judgment or defensiveness can shut down future conversations.
Even if you feel caught off guard, remind yourself this is part of their process, not a reflection on you. Respond with curiosity and care.
Encourage, Don’t Pressure
It is normal for someone in therapy to question whether it is helping or to feel unsure about continuing. If that comes up, your role is to offer gentle encouragement while respecting their pace and process.
You can say something like, “It makes sense to feel unsure sometimes. I trust you to decide what feels right for you.” Letting them know you believe in them without trying to influence their decisions helps them feel supported, not pressured.
Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting someone through therapy can bring up your own feelings, especially if their struggles affect your relationship. It is okay to seek support for yourself as well. In fact, it’s healthy.
Whether you talk to a friend, read up on mental health, or consider your own counselling, caring for yourself helps you show up more fully for them.
Navigating Change: Let Them Grow
When someone you care about starts therapy, they are beginning a process of real personal change. As they grow and shift, it can be difficult to let go of the version of them you are used to. You might still see them through the lens of past behaviors or roles, but they are actively trying to become someone new.
Supporting someone through change means allowing them to show up differently, even if that challenges your expectations. It is not always easy, but it is one of the most powerful ways you can support their progress. Here are four simple ways to help:
- Be open to seeing them differently
Give them space to show you who they are becoming instead of assuming they will respond the same way they always have. - Avoid bringing up the past unless invited
They may be working through difficult memories in therapy. Revisiting those moments without consent can hold them back. - Celebrate small shifts
Even small changes take effort. Noticing and acknowledging those shifts can encourage them to keep going. - Ask with curiosity, not judgment
If you notice something new, ask about it with genuine interest. This helps them feel seen and supported, not criticized.
When you allow someone to grow without holding them to who they used to be, you become part of their healing process. That kind of support makes a difference.
Conclusion
Just by being present and open, you are already doing something meaningful. You do not need to understand everything they are going through. You simply need to show them that you are here and that they are not alone.
If you ever have questions or want to learn more about how to support someone in therapy, our team is here to help. You are welcome to reach out, ask questions, or even book a free consultation to explore resources for yourself or your loved one.
Support is not about saying the perfect thing. It is about being willing to walk beside someone without needing to lead the way.
